How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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