My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
