i already hear my dad disowning me
there's paper in my vomit.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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