nut hugger
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
