it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
