It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did I show you my penis last night?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
