so that wasnt chicken after all
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
