oh god the rape fog is back!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
