Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
