That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
