i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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