I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
