I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
