ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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