Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
