why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
