I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
