i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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