you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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