Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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