Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
