you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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