Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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