that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
