DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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