I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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