Sry I called you an 8
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
