I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he thought i was a dude.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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