don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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