Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I want a musical about memes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
