i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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