Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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