at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
