we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
