i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
