Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need to sanitize my soul.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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