You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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