ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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