What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
