i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He better not be in your backpack
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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