shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
