I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
