i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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