He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
