Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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