Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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