Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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