No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
