the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
