Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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