you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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