Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
is it fun? or sober?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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