So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
