shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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