oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
