$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
