While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
