btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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